Google Maps - Street View

I love the street view option on Google Maps. I know that Google has gotten some shit over it. But w/o it, I never would have been a witness to this lovely nugget.

http://maps.google.com/maps?ie=UTF8&hl=en&ll=28.071715,-82.449657&spn=0.005074,0.011716&z=17&layer=c&cbll=28.069248,-82.45093&panoid=_1D4wsv7l9k8UFSPIZouaA&cbp=1,347.0848779829396,,0,16.070104586051787

This is located at the corner of Fletcher and Nebraska. If you know Tampa, it isn't really all that suprising.

Lee Angel

I know very little about where he came from and nothing of where he went. But in the short time I knew him, I got a glimpse into bizarro world like never before or since.

He came from North Carolina, via Jason Vuic. He knew him from school somehow and had apparently offered to drive Jason down to Tampa where I was living with my friend from high school (Derek) and my brother. He seemed like a nice enough guy. He didn't worry about money but he didn't work (at first, later we worked some telephone jobs together). He chained smoked Marlboros but shied away from weed. He talked in a slow, southern drawl. I remember something about his dad being a state level politician but I could be wrong. Some how, of which I have absolutely no recollection, he came to live with us in Tampa.

Before too long, we realized how strange this dude was and that we had made a mistake. Late one night in my room (he lived in my room) he said I was "incorrigible". He said it in a flattering sort of way. He then asked for me a hug. Not sure what to do I offered him a "mental hug", which he accepted by saying "Ready?" and then making a satisfied hugging sound. It would have been less weird if I thought he was gay and horny but I don't think that was it. I don't know what he was up to. I guess he might have just needed a hug. Another time he used money from my coin collection to buy smokes. Though I didn't really care about the collection, it was just something I brought when I moved out of my parents house, I was pissed. So I told him the coins he cashed in were given to me from a since passed godfather. I don't have a godfather much less a dead one. I could have told him that they were from a relative who kept them up his ass while in Auschwitz (also untrue) but I let him off easy.

And then he was gone.

I Hate the Ice Cream Man

I'm not talking about the song, though I do hate that song and Van Halen. I'm speaking of the actual Ice Cream Man. The driver of the Ice Cream Truck. The purveyor of overpriced, unhealthy, sugary treats. First you hear the faint yet unmistakable music. The kids and dogs have already heard (or sensed) it, charting its progress as it roams about adjacent streets searching for prey. Hunting must be good because almost every night, just before dinner, it comes. It gets louder, the kids get louder. Sometimes kids escape the confines of the backyard, oblivious to yelling parents, drawn to it like mosquitoes to a bug zapper. Alas dinner has yet to be eaten and the answer is usually no. Crying and complaining ensue. Thanks motherfucker!

Least Competant Legislature Ever

There are many good things about living in Florida. Decent weather, great outdoors, lots of good music venues. No state income tax. Florida and its residents however, have been known to shit in their collective cereal from time to time. Katherine Harris and the hanging chads (sounds like a punk band), rampant development, and the good ole' boy system (see the first two) are but a few examples. The topic of this post is the Florida State Legislature and what it felt was important to spend time debating this year.

The state of the state sucks. Huge budget deficits threaten the jobs of teachers and cops among others. The real estate market is stagnant at best. Teachers are fucking students like drunk priests at sleep away camp. We all have a lot of work to do if we care at all. Our tireless congressmen are apparently up to the challenge.

Truck Balls

You've all seen them. Look, you can even see the truck they hang from. It's a big truck with big tires. Its shiny. Probably has a Florida Terrorist Hunters License and a Gators sticker. It definitely has a trailer hitch. That's where the lifelike rubber set of nuts sways and bounces to the rhythm of the road (and Limp Bizcit if the sound system is good). Stupid?, yes. Tasteless?, of course. Illegal?, absolutely if our congress has anything to do with it. A bill banning truck balls was argued this year (thank you Sen. Carey Baker, R-Eustis). A violation would result in a $60 fine and points on your license. Are you serious? Give yourselves another raise while your at it.



Ultrasound

I believe abortion is a difficult and sad decision to have to consider. I also believe that early in the pregnancy, it's no ones business but the potential mom, dad and their doc. And it is still legal thank God (ironic use of an expression huh?). In an attempt to cause even more pain and hardship facing a couple faced with this decision, The Florida Senate narrowly defeated a bill requiring an ultrasound be conducted on any women seeking an abortion (thank you Sen. Daniel Webster, R-Winter Park). Nice.

Creationism

Believe whatever you want. I do. I respect your right to believe in talking snakes and giant boats, in booming voices from the sky. I expect the same from you. Thank you for amusing me while I cling to silly facts, and critique, and empirical evidence, and open discourse.If I'm smart at all it's because I know I don't know shit. Neither do you. The State Senate is considering a bill allowing the teaching of creationism in our schools (thanks Senator Ronda Storms, R-Valrico).I wonder whose version of creation would be taught. Maybe the Apache belief that The One Who Lives Above created first a little girl on a cloud? Perhaps the Australian Aboriginal Dreamtime version? Even better, the Norse creation belief that man and woman sprang from under the left arm of a frost ogre? Doubt it. Bravo Florida!