Least Competant Legislature Ever

There are many good things about living in Florida. Decent weather, great outdoors, lots of good music venues. No state income tax. Florida and its residents however, have been known to shit in their collective cereal from time to time. Katherine Harris and the hanging chads (sounds like a punk band), rampant development, and the good ole' boy system (see the first two) are but a few examples. The topic of this post is the Florida State Legislature and what it felt was important to spend time debating this year.

The state of the state sucks. Huge budget deficits threaten the jobs of teachers and cops among others. The real estate market is stagnant at best. Teachers are fucking students like drunk priests at sleep away camp. We all have a lot of work to do if we care at all. Our tireless congressmen are apparently up to the challenge.

Truck Balls

You've all seen them. Look, you can even see the truck they hang from. It's a big truck with big tires. Its shiny. Probably has a Florida Terrorist Hunters License and a Gators sticker. It definitely has a trailer hitch. That's where the lifelike rubber set of nuts sways and bounces to the rhythm of the road (and Limp Bizcit if the sound system is good). Stupid?, yes. Tasteless?, of course. Illegal?, absolutely if our congress has anything to do with it. A bill banning truck balls was argued this year (thank you Sen. Carey Baker, R-Eustis). A violation would result in a $60 fine and points on your license. Are you serious? Give yourselves another raise while your at it.



Ultrasound

I believe abortion is a difficult and sad decision to have to consider. I also believe that early in the pregnancy, it's no ones business but the potential mom, dad and their doc. And it is still legal thank God (ironic use of an expression huh?). In an attempt to cause even more pain and hardship facing a couple faced with this decision, The Florida Senate narrowly defeated a bill requiring an ultrasound be conducted on any women seeking an abortion (thank you Sen. Daniel Webster, R-Winter Park). Nice.

Creationism

Believe whatever you want. I do. I respect your right to believe in talking snakes and giant boats, in booming voices from the sky. I expect the same from you. Thank you for amusing me while I cling to silly facts, and critique, and empirical evidence, and open discourse.If I'm smart at all it's because I know I don't know shit. Neither do you. The State Senate is considering a bill allowing the teaching of creationism in our schools (thanks Senator Ronda Storms, R-Valrico).I wonder whose version of creation would be taught. Maybe the Apache belief that The One Who Lives Above created first a little girl on a cloud? Perhaps the Australian Aboriginal Dreamtime version? Even better, the Norse creation belief that man and woman sprang from under the left arm of a frost ogre? Doubt it. Bravo Florida!